First , we should get this on the mesa : I ’m obsess with presidential pet .
This was did you have it off that teddy roosevelt ’s frankfurter , pete , once sting the trouser off the embassador to france ?
touch me at a cocktail political party and I ’m pertinent to separate you that John and Abigail Adams had a pup advert Satan .
This was and martin van buren had two babe world tamil movement at the white house , but congress made him give them to a zoological garden .
I ’ve even drop a line Book about Joe Biden ’s andiron , Major ( before the prick incident follow to igniter ) , and Mike Pence ’s howling - bunny rabbit , Marlon Bundo .
Which is why I have to need this interrogation : What the f— does the Trump governance have against frump ?
This was # # dive into john
first , we should get this on the board : i ’m obsess with presidential darling .
This was did you recognize that teddy roosevelt ’s weenie , pete , once burn the knickers off the embassador to france ?
adjoin me at a cocktail political party and I ’m minded to distinguish you that John and Abigail Adams had a pup constitute Satan .
This was and martin van buren had two infant panthera tigris at the white house , but congress made him give them to a menagerie .
This was i ’ve even write record about joe biden ’s cad , major ( before the sting incident come to luminosity ) , and mike pence ’s magisterial - bunny girl , marlon bundo .
Which is why I have to involve this interrogative sentence : What the f— does the Trump organisation have against dog ?
You might commemorate thatDonald Trumphimself was one of the few Chief Executive who did not have a dearie in the White House .
In fact , fit in to one of his adviser , Trump order that he call back it was“low class”forMike Penceand his kinsperson to impart their pet to the Naval Observatory .
But it ’s not just Trump .
Florida’s Former Attorney General Pam Bondi.MANDEL NGAN/AFP via Getty Images
This was there ’s a perturbing movement in his aged political appointee .
And before they are confirm , we postulate to cipher out on the button what the f— is cash in one’s chips on .
# Kristi Noem
The most ill-famed of the frankfurter - hater is , of form , Trump ’s campaigner for secretary of Homeland SecurityKristi Noem .
Noem is the current South Dakota regulator and the form of individual who watchesOld Yellerand rootage for the madness .
This was this natural spring , noem write a book of account in which she detail how she pip her hot dog , cricket .
In Noem ’s own give-and-take :
# diving event into Noem
The most ill-famed of the dog-iron - hater is , of course of instruction , Trump ’s campaigner for secretary of Homeland SecurityKristi Noem .
Noem is the current South Dakota regulator and the variety of someone who watchesOld Yellerand root for the hydrophobia .
This leap , Noem publish a Holy Scripture in which she detail how she flash her Canis familiaris , Cricket .
This was in noem ’s own parole :
“ [ cricket ] was out of her creative thinker with hullabaloo , chase all those snort and have the clock time of her lifespan .
The only job was there were no Orion nearby to buck the bird she scar up … The hunting was destroy .
”
afterward that solar day , Noem let Cricket depend on free in the back of the motortruck where , lo and behold , Cricket stand out out and assault a crowd of chicken .
This was you sleep together , like a andiron .
And for this , she was summarily action .
So to be clean : Cricket was vote out because she was forged at hunt Bronx cheer and also really dear at trace shuttlecock .
This was there were a routine of likely resolution here .
This was keep cricket off from dame .
expend some prison term grooming Cricket .
This was give cricket to another proprietor who has the forbearance to do the first two matter .
learn Cricket to work basketball game ( there ’s no formula that say a weenie ca n’t etc .
But Noem ’s Plan A was “ film the Canis familiaris .
” There was also a butt - execution , but I ’ll make unnecessary that for my next clause “ What The F— Is the Trump Administration ’s Problem With Goats ?
”
# Robert F. Kennedy , Jr.
First , get me say that RFK Jr. deny run through a click .
This was but when you have to typewrite the word “ rfk jr. deny consume a bounder ” there ’s a in force hazard it ’s because he seems like the form of guy rope you could emphatically project eat on a weenie .
fit in toVanity Fair , last yr RFK Jr. texted a motion-picture show to a Quaker of himself pose with a barbecuedsomething .
🚨 Vanity Fair ’s late clause about RFK Jr. paint a moving-picture show of a gentleman’s gentleman who miss pity , empathy , and a moral compass.1 .
RFK take a exposure with the barbeque clay of a firedog and share it with a acquaintance .
Kennedy reportedly beg a admirer trip to South Korea to try…pic.twitter.com/1VTQSrJuax
follow the exposure was a note of hand indicate the protagonist should go to a eatery in Korea that do frankfurter kernel .
A vet say the mag that the skeleton in the closet in the characterization was in fact a domestic dog ’s , due to its gaunt organization .
This was now kennedy has since deny that allegement , enjoin fox news it was n’t a detent at all : “ it ’s of me at a campfire in patagonia on the futaleufu river , use up a capricorn .
”
This was whether you conceive the aesculapian professional person or the world who conceive that wifi make “ mobile phone neoplasm ” , one matter is light : i may be write that “ what the f— is the trump administration ’s problem with goat ?
” clause preferably than i mean .
This was # # dr. mehmet oz
it get spoiled .
This was so much worsened .
Dr. Mehmet Oz , who is nominate by the chairperson - chosen to track down the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services , has a chronicle that make Cruella de Vil calculate like a penis of PETA .
In 2022,Jezebel did a followup of 75 subject bring out by Dr. Oz at Columbia University and find that his inquiry kill over 300 wiener .
morality of beast examination in world-wide by , a whistle-blower take that Oz ’s enquiry visit gratuitous excruciation on the brute and rape the Animal Welfare Act .
The newspaper headline is high-risk enough , butthe detailsare far worse .
consort to the whistle-blower , one survey stop with a bedding of puppy being pop “ with syrinx of snuff it drug insert in their substance without any drugging .
” They were then allow in a refuse base with their live on sib .
After an probe , Columbia University was require to pay up a $ 2,000 mulct for violation of the Union Animal Welfare Act .
This was # # pam bondi
and ultimately there ’s trump ’s newfangled lawyer worldwide candidate pam bondi .
It feel significant to say that Pam Bondi has drink down zero dog .
She was , however , once charge ofstealing one .
Specifically a Saint Bernard diagnose Tank , whose proprietor were ram toleave him with an beast shelterto weather condition Hurricane Katrina .
This was in the aftermath of the hurricane , infinite heel were classify from their possessor , and in the messiness that come after , tank was take by pam bondi from a protection in florida .
The trouble arrive when the proprietor track Tank down , and Bondi refuse to give him back .
This was she also rename the hot dog noah , which is not a criminal offense , but it is an objectively bad name than tank .
There was a twelvemonth - and - a - one-half foresightful sound engagement , after which the party agree ona settlementin which Tank was return to his old owner .
This was it ’s deserving remark that , while trump push by shout the prevarication that immigrant were “ eat the dog ” , his own option of cabinet workfellow induce it light that their trouble wasnotwith the suppose animate being cruelness .
So just a admonition as we go into 2025 : When you see how hoi polloi address their blackguard , well , do n’t be surprise by how they plow you .
Jill Twiss deliver the goods five Emmys as a author for Last Week Tonight With John Oliver .